Aug. 7th, 2012

abigailnicole: (Default)
I've never fainted or passed out before. I've never even blacked out. This was the first loss of memory experience I've ever had, and it was weirdly metaphysical. I remember sitting in the chair, feeling lightheaded, and then all of my vision except for the very top was filled with colored spots and I told the nurse "I'm seeing spots". I don't know how long it was, either. I remember having the sensation that I was in a very complex dream, that I was somewhere I belonged and knew who I was and what I was doing and had to stay, and then suddenly I woke up and was somewhere, surrounded by women I didn't know, who were all looking down at me. I couldn't remember how I got there, I didn't recognize it. I didn't remember that I had been in the clinic, or that I had gotten a shot, or any of the circumstances of the recent past. It felt like--like in my dream, I knew exactly who I was, and when I woke up I was just someone I didn't know somewhere that I didn't belong, and I had no idea how I'd gotten there or what had happened to me.

They put me on the floor and held my legs above my head, and when I had to sit up so they could move me to the hospital bed I threw up, twice. It was the student clinic so they only had one room with three hospital beds in it. There were three big windows that looked onto the desk where the nurses kept their personal things, and they kept the door open, though the lights were off. They put a cold washcloth on my forehead and gave me a warm blanket, and I was feeling shaky and nauseous still and just kept thinking I want this blanket. It had a hole in it right next to my ankles. My ankles were crossed but I felt too tired to uncross them. After a while I sat up, tried to stand up and walk around, called Dustin to give me a ride home after Kay and Amanda were both busy. While I waited for him to call me back I became more and more aware of the way my hands and feet were getting hotter and my neck was getting colder, and though the nurses kept telling me I looked fine I felt awful.

Dustin used to date this girl and one of the horror stories he tells me is that the only date they ever went on, she threw up in his car. I kept joking "I'm not going to throw up in your car" on the way home, so I got out of the car and made it to the porch, sat down on the porch swing and then threw up all of my cashew craisin ginger-cinnamon fried rice and carrots and shrimp all over the blue floorboards of the porch and my sandled feet. My roommate was super apologetic she hadn't been home to pick me up (she's the nicest person ever) and hosed off the porch (and my feet) and brought me a glass of water.

One of the nurses asked me if I was a med student? how did I do with the procedures? I'm fine, just not when they're done to me. I'm going into medicine to avoid ever being a patient. Seriously, it sounds like the worst ever. Especially if this happens every time. It makes me want to be the nicest doctor ever because being sick is the worst experience.

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abigailnicole: (Default)
Nicole

March 2013

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