abigailnicole: (Default)
Merry Christmas.



I've spent most of break sleeping in beds and listening to Joanna Newsom and Kanye West, which is a strange couple to be singing in your ears together and probably the reason for my sleep--too much, not enough, staying up nights wandering around the house clutching blankets, or else sleeping ten hours a night, waking up to turn my alarm off and sleep more. Tonight I almost got frostbite on four toes. My mother was rubbing my numb feet with her hands until they started hurting and itching, toes going from white to vivid bruise-purple. I sat in the mexican restaurant, shoes off, clutching my toes under the table. Etiquette.

We watched The Voyage of the Dawn Treader which was my favorite Narnia book and the movie I was super excited for. I thought they were going to cut all my favorite parts out, and some of it--like the creepy feeling of Lucy reading in a room with an open door behind her after she has tried to shut it, and failed, and the way their feet became boats, and their beards that grew to cover the tables--they did. But they kept my favorite bit in, which was the water at the end of the world:

There was a moment's silence and then Lucy knelt down on the deck and drank from the bucket.

"It's the loveliest thing I have ever tasted," she said with a kind of gasp. "But oh--it's strong. We shan't need to eat anything now."

And one by one everybody on board drank. And for a long time they were all silent. They felt almost too well and strong to bear it; and presently they began to notice another result. As I have said before, their had been too much light ever since they left the island of Ramandu--the sun too large (though not too hot), the sea too bright, the air too shining. Now, the light grew no less--if anything, it increased--but they could bear it. They could look straight at the sun without blinking. They could see more light than they had ever seen before. And the deck and the sail and their own faces and bodies became brighter and brighter and every rope shone. And the next morning, when the sun rose, now five or six times its old size, they stared hard into it and could see the very feathers of the birds that came flying from it. (249)


which here, in the longest days of winter, echoes around every cup of water you drink.

I stayed up to watch the lunar eclipse, but it was cloudy. I wanted to go to Cumberland Falls with everyone I knew, but the weather was sleet and the cloud cover was 94% instead of the moonbows and lunar shows I was hoping for. Instead I sat at home, stayed up all night the longest night of the year, texted people and listened to music, tried to sleep then gave up, sat on my bed staring at the sloped ceiling, sat in my window staring at the clouds. It wasn't the good kind of stay-up all night, it was the reliving-bad-memories kind of stay-up all night, but I texted Bailey and Hannah and they both responded, about the time Bailey went to bed Hannah woke up. It was the longest, darkest night of the year but I had people to talk to, so I can't really ask for more. From here the light will only increase, past the solstice, past the eclipse, past the island of Ramandu and past bleak midwinter.

We came home from the movie. I started to fill up the bathtub to warm my feet. With the water running into the tub I ransacked my cabinets, finding all the bubblebath that acquaintances had given me as gifts, poured them into the water to get lavender chamomile vanilla raspberry clean. The water wasn't light and I didn't drink it but I laid in the foam with my nose above water, listening to Ys until it stopped and watching the bubbles sparkle as they popped until they were all gone.
abigailnicole: (happy)
GUYS LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF I MADE.


I finished the quilt! My first. I wanna make another one though.


I finished the mittens!

I just like making stuff )


I still need to get christmas presents for three people, and finish one more. Oops.
abigailnicole: (OMG)


SO HERE IT COMES, THE SOUND OF DRUMS

a.) I made new ringtones. I made a james bond ringtone, a ringtone of the firefly theme song, the wreckless eric song 'whole wide world', the 'zydrate comes in a little glass vial' clip from Repo, and that song from Doctor Who that the Master plays when he goes crazy, Voodoo Child. the HERE COME THE DRUMS HERE COME THE DRUMS song. it's crazy-poppy and has been in my head breaking my train of thought making me snappy and now it's on my phone begging to be my new ringtone: Trust Harold Saxon.

b.) it's lovely storming right now, I'm avoiding my family down below and hiding in my dad's office, where I will sleep tonight on the floor next to my brother. there's lovely windy dark rain thunder outside and I want it to go on forever.

c.) I discovered I can do without food or sleep but not both: today I slept only the normal seven hours and tried to eat the normal bowl of cereal and dinner and I was a raging wildebeest of rage. If I get twelve hours of sleep and a cereal/sandwich all day I'm okay; if I get seven hours of sleep and real food I'm okay. Now I just want to curl up in the sleeping bag on the floor and stop moving, get rid of my muscles aching and my head staying in one place when I move. mono, dammit, I'm constantly convinced I have mono. I gave it to boy, how can I not have it? But there is no real treatment except rest and wait, so even if I did, I'd still be doing exactly what I'm doing now.

d.) oooh getting a new phone tuesday. I think it'll be purple but it might not be after all. dad wants me to decrease my texting and I think this is unlikely.

e.) desirous desirous of bed for long amounts of time with laptop for watching Torchwood and knitting. I am on the last episode of Torchwood season two what a catastrophe. :( my lounging in bed will be so much less purposeful slash excusable now. I should read House of Leaves again. I don't know if I enjoyed it but it's a book that I feel like I should own because it's important and odd. Also I never read the appendices.

f.) call me my phone will ring HAROLD SAXON'S CAMPAIGN SONG

g.) dominoes, brb.
abigailnicole: (Default)


list:
  1. HEY GUYS I PUT UP A CHRISMAS LAYOUT, go look at it for the three days before I have to take it down. I should have done this sooner... o well. hurrah!
  2. my gpa is a 3.689. hurrah! (I think?)
  3. also I'm crocheting my firefly River Tam vest. square one done. hurrah!
  4. I get to see hannah and amanda monday! and the party. hopefully Dustin comes. hurrah!
  5. my car is still left-turn-signal-less and dented. it will cost me lots of money. boo...
  6. watching james bond marathons on spike. I think this is not a 'hurrah!' or a 'boo...' but it just is. better than the altermative?


merry day before christmas eve.
abigailnicole: (bad day)
1. FIRST POST NEW LAPTOP YAY

2. So I got a new laptop for christmas. A laptop for college, actually. Of course I was really excited and turned it on and started installing FireFox and Audacity (ahiweofahew frustrating, that) and iTunes and all that jazz. And while I do this, everyone in my family is talking about Vista. Now, my computer (NEW COMPUTER!!!) is an XP. (Its name is Marco by the way.) But the entire time I'm setting up my brand new Vostro 1500 windows-xp laptop everyone in my family is saying yeah, vista is a pain now but in the next six months it's going to be the new operating system. SIX MONTHS? COULD THAT BE WHEN I NEED MY LAPTOP FOR COLLEGE?! Plus I had a conversation with my parents a few months back about how if I was to switch operating systems, I'd rather have a Mac than Vista. All this makes me want to throw up my hands in despair and switch to Linux. NOT KIDDING. I'm going to wikipedia linux and read about it, so if you all have any opinions throw them out there. I plan to discuss these things with Jason as well. My blessings are many but my frustrations also.

3. I got a 120gb external hard drive :) and an orange 2gig usb drive, called Pip after my favorite Posse member (orange reminded me of Tori's hair, that's the whole explanation). As to why my laptop's name is Marco? It was the first thing that popped into my head when it said: "Computer Name" and I typed it out. I thought a few minutes and nothing better came to me, so my new laptop is named Marco. I thought vaguely about something Discworld, but nothing suitable presented itself. Perhaps the dragon's name in Guards! Guards!? What was his name? I disrecall. but anyway.

4. I also got a bugger thingy um CD of fonts, hurray, and a random CD with 1000 works of classic literature on it. ...okay? But I'm excited. My grandparents got me a digital photo keychain and my parents got me piano pants (yay!) and some earrings from their trip to Egypt.

This Christmas has, more than anything, reminded me of how I'm ready to go to college, how cramped I feel here and how much I'm ready to be on my own. I don't want to live off my parents' charity, especially when they're constantly reminding me that it is charity and comes with obligations. I love them and all, but over there. Time to go AWAY to college to be on my own.

also Jason Mraz's latest blog made me happier.
abigailnicole: (Default)
o snot

some things you didn't know about me.

I really want to journal. just sit down and start drawing doodling writing with markers and paint and crayons and big bleedy pens and pencils and tape and scissors and magazines. I joined [info]embodiment  and it's exciting, boyfriend's mom is supposed to get me notebooks for christmas and I don't want to wait. there were AMAZING notebooks at barnes and nobles today but they were almost $40, oh my gosh so pretty. If only they weren't lined life would be PERFECT. ugh. notebooks.

I'm  bought this really cheap, incredibly amazing  book titled The Library of Piano Classics a while back, and now I'm trying to download songs. It has lovely stuff that I love playing like khachaturian's Saber Dance and Diabelli's Rondino (that's my new favorite) and then lots of impossible stuff like Chopin's Fantasie Impromptu and Liszt which makes me happy and sad at the same time. IMPOSSIBLE, I SAY. Liszt has 193 notes in one measure in Liebestraum (in A flat, nonetheless--this isn't that run your finger up and down the keys a few times thing). IMPOSSIBLE. I just spend thirty minutes ripping the streamed version of the Appassionata for my own amusement. I'm trying to find MP3s of all this because I'm strange. BEST BOOK EVER.

I went shopping, everyone has a christmas present and I have gas in my car but nothing in my wallet. NOTHING at all. I can't even buy a pack of gum, I am so poor.
abigailnicole: (OMG)
My Mail Today, With A Brief Explanation of Each:

1. I mailed letters. Well, this isn't mail I received, but I got to the post office ten minutes before it closed. All the in-state mails were about sixty cents, the international ones a dollar and eighty cents. THAT MEANS SOME OF YOU GOT MAIL, O LIVEJOURNAL. Dunno when you'll get it, but hey. If you didn't send me your address recently, you probably didn't get mail. And all my mail was just under $10! I was excited, I thought it'd be more.

2. I got the financial aid application from Penn. that requires less explanation than anticipated.

3. I got a letter from Tulane University. It's this univeristy in New Orleans that kept sending me emails that said: "PLEASE! apply here! apply for free! the application deadline's passed but we extended it just for you!" so I did, for the heck of it. I got a letter of acceptance from them offering me $24,000--the presidential scholarship. hey. hey!

4. a christmas card from Centre that said: "I enjoyed your essay about GSA and learning you were a black belt."

CHRISTMAS PARTY AFTER SCHOOL. me melissa monica lindsey ms nantz RENT tea bread mini bagels hell yeah. this will be grand great. amazing. I have everbody's present but monica's but I'm waiting to get her something emotastic from the mall EMO TASTIC! I love getting (other people) presents so much. 
abigailnicole: (Default)
!!!!!!!!!!!!! my first birthday present, from the best friend ever, [personal profile] blackballoon      . by the way, she gets all scarves I make in the future. All of them. Every one. At least every single one she wants. And if she wants an afghan, she gets that too. Or a purse. Or anything, really. Just start looking around for anything you want that I can make and I swear I will.



 
abigailnicole: (Default)
I had to drive, by myself, for the first time, today. About an hour ago. It was very exciting. After this it'll be really lame and routine, but it was the first time I ever drove by myself so.

My Aunt Mary and Uncle Joseph sent their christmas presents (so they'd arrive on Saturday, actually, but we didn't get them till today) and now I have Phantom of the Opera and an actual copy of one of my favorite CDs, I'm Wide Awake It's Morning. I even bought this CD from iTunes but I was still really excited about the real version. It's just, you know, an amazing album.  my desire for a bright eyes icon is sending me on a spree of icon-making for this cd.

All my outfits are red or purple. Really. And I had a purple purse but not a red purse, so I got one with one of my many gift cards. hurray! So now I have a purse to go with the all-important ruby-red shoes. And I got my cell phone fixed, so I have voicemail now. leave me a message!

I woke up this morning after dreaming about how I was writing in a computer lab in some foreign college and kept leaving my flash drive in two places at once. I laid in bed half-asleep and got up to ask my mother a question about how single crochet could be used instead of sewing, because I can't sew but I'm really good at single crochet.  Why do I wake up thinking of this stuff.

Later my brother's going to go to a friend's house, so I'm going to see if I can possibly go to Cracker Barrel with my boyfriend and go shopping to get a cord to connect my phone to the  computer and the cool flippy-wallet thingy I wanted. It's a wallet but it's a book. It's on hinges. You can open it and snap it closed and it's like...snap! and it closes! omg! and it's in white and red and black.  More gift cards right there.

mer, ta.
abigailnicole: (Default)
I figured out how Santa does it!

He just bounces a tachyon pulse off the deflector shield, then reroutes the extra energy generated by the transwarp coil into his chromaton transporters! He doesn't have to be everywhere--he can transport across time!

Or maybe I've been carried away by the Voyager marathons.

Merry Christmas, wherever you are. No matter if you're on the couch by yourself, smoking your last pack and watching It's a Wonderful Life, or sitting by a fire with your family wearing matching Christmas sweaters, or anywhere in between, it's still Christmas eve. And while we don't have chromaton transporters or tachyon pulses yet (except for Santa), we still have presents, and emails, and materialism, and tinsel, and lights...somewhere back there was a baby. A really good baby. And everyone loves babies. Right?

And your Christmas might be bad. This might be the worst Christmas you've ever had, and you might think it'll never get any better, but it will. There's always someone out there who knows exactly what you're going through, exactly how you feel, exactly what you want, all your hopes, and dreams, and disappointments, and fears. All we really have in the world is people, and I'm pretty sure we'll always have people, and that's both the good news and the bad news. You will never get rid of me--I am here to listen, to care, to talk to you and pray for you and love you and read about your life and share my life the best way I know how.

Peace on earth may be a little out of our reach just yet, but if we all work together, if we all hope and wish and pray and are just nice enough and not too naughty and try to smile and do good and be nice people...if we pray hard enough, we might just get snow.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
abigailnicole: (Default)

the notebook my roommate Satomi sent me for Christmas
abigailnicole: (Default)
now it's christmas. almost. almost. Three days. That's scaryexciting. Everything's wonderful and rushing around. I'm sitting here listening to a Death Cab cover of Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), cuddling my pillow shaped like a great big fish. I've sent out all my christmas cards, to the LJ people who want them and TIPeople who deserve them. and I keep making mix CDs and burning them and sticking them in Christmas cards along with pictures that aren't even of anything. constant cups of hot tea and knitting. It's been such a good week and it's only Thursday.

Earlier I wanted to stay in bed and knit all day and now I don't. Now I'm excited. I want to run around and make things, up and down stairs and talk on the phone and take pictures and make CDs and write letters and hug people and paint walls. listen to bad jokes and hit people with my great big fish. I love Christmas and wrapping presents and trying to find just the right gift for everyone. I havetahaveta. I got Jai's and I know what I'm getting Brandon and Monica (I think). Everyone else I'm still wondering about. You know who you are, you wenches. I want to wear warm clothes and drink hot tea and sit around and laugh and play piano. And I could do all of that. I could if I wanted to. I'm just up here because here there's music that's sadandgorgeous and makes you feel warm on the inside even though it's cold. I'm not making sense and I don't think I care. I want to stand under the sky in the dark and look up and watch it snow. Last New Year's Eve I went outside and it was snowing and it was simply amazing. I don't know how to tell you about it. It's the most gorgeous way to greet the new year. With the right song and the snow coming down and the cold and fireworks and then---
it's next year.

happy tomorrow. staying up all night to greet the next day. not doing anything important. writing and singing and making things. living, and liking being alive. I can only wish you all have the same. I hope you have a Christmas that's better than anything you've ever had, that everything you have and everything you'll get will be enough to make you happy and that you will have the feeling of at least one perfect moment, one perfect Christmas. And I hope you stay up all night and sing good morning to the new year and that you love every minute of it. And if we're lucky, if we keep our fingers crossed and our eyes closed and pray, if we're good and don't peek and smile at people and open doors and have the right combination of luck and talent...maybe it will snow.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Love, always.
-me

edit. a small christmas present to everyone who wants it. )

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Nicole

March 2013

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