abigailnicole: (Default)
Spring Break is officially over, but I have no classes today, so it's mostly still on. This week I have only two days of classes, actually. But also two tests, so I'm spending a lot of time making Genetics notes and texting people about physics. Probably less useful than actually doing my physics, but you know, texting people about it is much more entertaining.

Have some media!



new orleans in the spring )
I've always been interested in photographing things, collections of things, inanimate objects. Usually temporary collections of inanimate objects: little mini-shrines, in a way, and what they say about people. What's in your purse, what's in your pockets, on your nightstand, in your backpack, decorating the wall facing your bed. What do all these collections of objects say about you?

Beyond that I only have a few weeks of school left. We're house-hunting, when we find one I'll tell you: we've got a few good prospects so far, all with gas stoves.

I picked out all the songs I like in my iTunes, which is about 250 of them. Oh dear. If you would like one, pick a number between one and two hundred and fifty and I'll upload one for you, with a small written description. I promise it will be fantastic!

Spring break has brought on the GSA fever. I call it GSA fever because it is the feeling I had at GSA. you know if I get this creative scholars program, I'm going to be an english major with a creative writing focus? That means that for my Honor's thesis senior year I want to write a novel. The Delilah novel. I have this all worked out in my head, pictures of the porch and the characters and the way the house and the Agency work. This brings me back to GSA I suppose for a good reason...

and that is the way I want to record my entire life all the time. I want to tell you how it feels to sit here and listen to smooth Rockland County, "the swimming-pool noises" and try and read about snRNPs and splicing and how nice it feels to wear a tank top again, feel my hair growing: it's long enough to brush the top of my shoulders when I walk, fine and feathery on my skin. We're looking at houses, and when you're looking at houses everything is exciting because it's about potential. This space has the potential to be perfect! it's not now, it won't be, but it could be. We looked at a basement house with empty tile floors, in blue and green and purple, with a porch swing and windows. I could make curtains and live in a purple room. I could drink tea on the back porch and write my honors' thesis novel.

But this is how it is, I want to describe to you the way everything feels right now. Lazy and heavy and warm. Fountain pens that constantly spill ink on your fingers and pages; it manages me, I do not really manage it....some cartridges are more well-behaved than others. When you have a fountain pen, beware! They are temperamental creatures whose moods change with the color and consistency of their cartridge. My blue lasted forever and was perfect, but my pink was so contrary it all wrote watery and finally just broke down after two half-ink half-water pages. This red cartridge has lovely ink but likes to cover my fingers with red-ink bloodstains. I apologize Amanda.

It's time for summertime music. Put away the winter clothes! Bring out lemonade and iced tea. I want light, sunny songs and green grass and the loveliness of new orleans in the spring.

time for more DNA and magnetic-electric forces. oh, my concentration is terrible.
abigailnicole: (not envy)
pictograph )



off to read interview with a vampire. goodnight--
abigailnicole: (not envy)
some things.

In my excessive but not enjoyable freetime I've been doing too much of this browsing LJ nonsense. and I love it. I keep clicking around on random journals and I downloaded someone's playlist called 'china rust patterns' and I've listened to it five times now. I really wish I remembered where I found it so I could go thank that person, but I...have no idea. It was late. also I was looking for iron man icons and got sucked into a new fandom. this happens to everyone,  I swear. o man. why. speaking of fandom:

fics )


speaking of the playlist thing. I made a playlist at 1:36am last night called 1:36am june 11th 2008, and if anyone wants a copy I'll do something cool and upload it with art and stuff. it sounds very much like songs you'd listen to at 1:36 am on june 11th, 2008 by yourself in the dark. since I'm going LJ-cut happy, here it is:


I also wrote


I've also been writing in my journal. A lot. My giant map-of-the-world journal. I wrote two pages of an essay called "The Difficulties and Necessities of Modern-Day Pirating" taking a look at the reasons, causes, necessity of, and proper tools for, modern day piracy, but then stopped in the middle of a sentence talking about the role and importance of a "ship" and how the perception of "ships" can and should change for the modern-day pirate. It was pretty strange. But I liked it.

I also keep thinking about Evolution. Evolution and the Internet. At what point does technology become part of natural selection? Why have as humans developed a collective consciousness that doesn't really exist? It only exists in our interconnectivity. I'm thinking about writing an essay called Darwin and the Internet or maybe more something like Darwin vs Steve Jobs, but I might just save it for college when it will be useful. Since I'm attending Starfleet Academy and all.

I also got six inches of my hair cut off.

also it has been 100 degrees here, which is very hot. I've been reading Marvel's Civil War comics. Between that and my Trekker status and my knitting I have no cool points left. It's okay. ..I embrace it. 

and finally some pictures from summer.
pictures )
abigailnicole: (bad day)
you are so special


my heart stops--every time

first day of spring break. my ipodspeakers broke, like my old ipod, so this morning me and milo headphoned for a while. hellogoodbye - two weeks in hawaii, abourt tweove tims. i don't know why this song. this whole cd is just a cute guy with a cute voice writing cute songs about how cute it is to be in love with his girlfriend. cute cute. I'm not very cute, you wonder why I like it? me too, me too. it's the first day of spring break and my alarm clock went off at normal time. since then i've been lying in bed trying in vain to sleep and finally just gave it up.

the past week or so has been all-consuming. i, in a literary frenzy, read the entierty of the Three Musketeers, mostly in one insane seven-hour sitting, and then about an hour in the library, finishing reading it the day it was due. now I'm reading 1984 in all-consuming blocks, eating up every word. I felt so bad when your mom caught us eating ice cream in your room at three in the morning. spontaneous. do you know what we're doing in ap chem? thermodynamics. gibbs free energy. spontaneous reactions. I don't think there are very many spontaneous reactions in my life right now.

so for spring break I have nothing. nothing. a great vast stretch of unmarked-on calendar days. it's a lovely feeling, even if it tends to invite boredom. school is terrible, just because its a joke. I can't bring myself to care about calculus or chemistry when we've done this for twelve weeks straight, giant stretches of school where there's nothing else but school-work-school-work. spring fever, right? I guess that's why they have spring break. I told hannah that we should move into the public library, erect a bunk bed and just read all week. hide in the bottom bunk if anyone comes around. watch movies on our laptop. and if the librarians try to ask us what we're doing, we say that we're invisible. don't talk to us, we're invisible. it's a foolproof plan. nobody can argue with the pretext of being invisible.

but hannah's spring break is over. you're gone, I've gone insane. oh when will you reappear? I'm just some new kid who can't get his mind off of you. and I know that it's stupid--

I keep thinking about the past. I guess its inevitable when reading 1984, but not even distant history past. my own personal past. GSP, GSA, TIP. I really think that TIP was the best time of my life and I was just too stupid to realize it. but I did, in a way. I got sick when I left, wasn't that proof enough? it wasn't strange at all. everything was perfectly natural and it was fun and it was just amazing. and then gsa was just the opposite and gsp was in the middle. I guess its because I'm trying to decide where to go to college--Tulane or Centre. Big school vs. little school, New Orleans vs. small suburban kentucky community. same price. same reputation academically, which is all I care about (my entire life is made up of academics). I'm just trying to figure out where to go, what to do. one is inside my comfort zone, one is outside my comfort zone. let's just hold that thought.

but there's more past than that, too. I've been infected with an overwhelming desire to read books because I love books. I've been reading since I was five and writing since I was eight. I should be good at it by  now, after ten years of the stuff. but no matter how I think I get sick of it, there's always more. I stole a bedford. ms nantz only thinks I'm going to give it back. (a bedford is our giant literature book for ap english). and I love reading it. short stories by kafka, faulkner, o'connor, stephen king. an endless supply of poems. after I complained about poetry so much, too--but that's GSA poetry, which is of course not the same thing. gosh. there was this poem in there--called "Dead Dog" or "Death of a Dog" or something and when I read it I cried for twenty minutes. I couldn't stop. and I know that it's stupid... maybe I'm just wound up so tight that every little thing sets me off.

it's hard to type while lying down, staring at the screen sideways. but if I get up then this moment will be over. I'll have to turn this song off and plug in the ipod and end this post and get out of bed and go downstairs, eat breakfast with my mother and face questions about today. what do you want to do. making plans. delta G=37. nonspontaneous reaction. do you understand what I'm saying? theyll shoot me i dont care theyll shoot me in the back of the neck they always shoot you in the back of the neck down with big brother


and I'd fall apart, but I'd remember how my heart STOPS--every time.

you are so special, I just don't think that we can be friends

download: hellogoodbye - two weeks in hawaii
abigailnicole: (Default)
today

I'm also reading the Count of Monte Cristo, but that didn't make it onto the list.
abigailnicole: (Default)


It's pouring outside and in here it looks like this. When I put iTunes on shuffle, Straylight Run came on, then Carly Simon's Julie Through the Glass (amazing piano), then Land Locked Blues. How fitting. I really shouldn't be on the computer with this much lightning.

Reading about college just makes me more bummed out about it. It'll be great once I get there, I think. Pffffft. It's just so strange--how can you pick where you want to go? I really like Centre has journal entries from students, but they all seem nice preppy. Perhaps I lie. Maybe I'm nice/preppy, I'm just not comfortable around them? Perhaps I spend too much time thinking about stereotypes and dreading it when people love to talk about the sports they play. And even though I'm applying to out-of-state college (Vassar), I think I'll end up going somewhere in state because I have scholarship money here and I'm not picky, not passionate about where I want to go to school, terribly undecipherably unimaginatively undecided.

I have to read Beowulf tonight! Maybe I should start on that.

My lights are flickering on and off...end post. 
abigailnicole: (Default)
I keep composing essays in my head entitled: "Things I Hate And Why."
It's been that kind of a weekend.

pictures from lately. there are 281 - here are a few. by a few, I mean a lot, melissa (dial-up user, awwww) beware.

pictures )


also, why are they waltzing to Hedwig's Theme on Dancing with the Stars?
abigailnicole: (Default)
so tonight we had another "Floor is Lava" party. We had our last one about two weeks ago, where we all get together and eat and go to the park to play "the floor is lava" on the playground equipment. Inevitably I end up running to the dollar store right before these things and buying goodies for everyone. last time it was scented bubbles. This time, I bought the girls a tiara and clip-on earring set and the boys ninja swords. There are seven of us every time. And it's tons and tons of fun. This week's theme was supposed to be "The floor is lava with lavaproof vehicles" and the vehicles had to be like tricycles or wagons, but mollee was the only one who brought hers, as evidenced.



also nathan with the ninja sword, striking a fanciful pose.

These parties are lots of fun. We met at El Dorado's around five and didn't end the party until around ten thirty. next time you should come party with us. we talk about farm animals and our strange childhoods and Daniel Johnson being a pokemon and draw with sidewalk chalk and play volleyball with six and seven year olds. they also were better than us. and all get dizzy on the merry-go-round at the same time and spend an hour in McDonalds just talking about how to avoid speeding tickets (yell: "explosive diarrhea!"). nilly nollee lorey.
it makes life better.
abigailnicole: (Default)
today was also a bad day, because I:
lost my vanilla chapstick
cramped all day
did bad on the calc quiz
had bad hair. I even straightened it, where's the justice.

however, it was lovely because today and yesterday I listened to Under the Pink all the way through.


the art of blowing bubbles. as practiced by me. (notice how bubbles are moving in every picture I take?)
actually I have a story for this. I had a chemistry quiz and a vocabulary test on Tuesday and Monday night I was ridiculously tired. I knew if I tried studying on my bed I would fall asleep. So I tried studying in my bathroom and fell asleep there. and then woke up and blew bubbles while thinking about vocabulary from wuthering heights. haha, right. I did make a 98% on that test though.

unlike today, when I had a quiz in Calc on limits and I knew I was fine and then she put all this weird stuff on the quiz, and it made me disgruntled. that's a good word. because the problems weren't like the problems we'd been working before, and I had to graph the one thingy piecemeal bugger.


also when I got home my driveway was covered in leaves. This would make sense if it were fall, but no--the heat index today was so high they cancelled the soccer game I was going to go see. It's a sign from God. I shouldn't go to North Laurel athletic events. Or maybe that it's too hot to play soccer. But the trees obviously don't realize it's 100 degrees and have been shedding their leaves anyway.


I'm a really good driver.


abigailnicole: (not envy)
Notes From Nicole!:

1. Radio music. Normally, I avoid this like a thing which carries a very dangerous communicable disease. However, I worked for my mom every day last week and the radio was on. My alarm clock goes off at 6:45, and it's either the radio or obnoxious beeping which gets louder and louder, a terrible way to wake up. So I've been listening to radio. And I've found my fair share of Things To Hate. Such as: Avril Lavigne's Cheerleader-Girlfriend song. Who took this woman out of the elementary schools and let her make a record? It's like the bazooka-bubblegum song, but a direct ripoff and less charming. The one song about the girl who's leaving her boyfriend because she needs time along. Really, "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses its blanket"? Is there no better simile there we can use?
         However, I have found Things I Like, as well. Classic rock, as per usual, Styx Heart Queen Journey Elton John etc, all the things I grew up with and still love hearing on the radio. And, surprisingly, the new Good Charlotte song--just because it's so deliciously depressed. A far cry from the other "this is the anthem, put all your hands up" is the lovely: "everybody put up your hands, say 'I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love.'" I like it in a cruel way. They're depressed. It makes me happy to see such a formerly cheery band decry love in misery and pain. I'm glad they're making music for tweens to slit their wrists to.

2. Homework. I have AP Chem and AP Calc every day. I have it right now, in fact, and AP English is getting close. But you know the amazing thing? Even if I have homework in every one of my classes ('classes' here having the meaning of 'AP classes'), that's only four classes. I can never have homework in more than four classes! It's wonderful! We're writing short stories in Creative Writing, due the first Thursday in september. I really want to use my old ones. just because I love them so much and nobody reads them.

3. Oh yes! I have a collection of pictures from the past few days, here for your viewing pleasure. There are 15 of them. Includes: bubbles, movies, shoes, hannah, amanda, and joan jett. Can be found here.

4. Oh yes. the Cyanide and Happiness comic is here, so you can read the words of wisdom from those who also believe political correctness is silly.

5. I watch House all the time. I think I watched about eight or ten episodes this weekend, and I had guests and homework and a house party and Nibroc and church. I don't care. I don't want to do anything else. I could just sit around and watch this show, mindlessly, rotting into a paroxysm of Hugh-Laurie-loving, mindless delight. Yes, I had to use mindless twice, because television is really that alien to me.

6. Bad things. I'm tired all the time. I wrote down my eighteenth birthday on my planner last night and I felt like committing suicide. I don't know why this sudden onslaught of depression and world-hate has hit me. It's part of the watching-House-all-the-time thing too. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to go out and be social and make friends and be happy--it feels like I'm faking it. I feel...off-kilter? Like I really want to do well and be good at things and study and pay attention and learn things, whether it be how to do limits or nomenclature, and when I look up from my work I realize everyone else...isn't doing it. I'm not like these people. I love being loud and having fun and being happy and being studious and good at things and learning. Is that weird? Am I the weird one or is it everyone else? I don't know. I even listened to Michael's CD today and it didn't help. I'm tired, and hungry, and all day long I've had gastrintestional episodes. Perhaps it's just the monday syndrome.

7. I am still rereading Atlas Shrugged. I fall more and more in love with Francisco d'Anconia every time I read it. It makes it a lot harder to deal with liberal teachers in class, though. This was a terrible book to read before I go to college, because I'll be gritting my teeth thinking: "Well, what's wrong with capitalism, then?" in my head. I really want to know--what is wrong with capitalism? I don't understand why everyone bashes it. Sure, it gets taken advantage of. What's better? Socialism? Do you really think the government can control anything efficiently, better than private business? Of course there are corrupt businessmen. But it's still the best system of government out there (aside from Vetinari, which is ideal while he's alive). Anyway.

8. Food! Homework! Book! Adios.
abigailnicole: (Default)
So, I have senior pictures tomorrow, at 2pm. And I have to have change of outfits and props. this is, right now, a HAHAHAHAHA I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BRING reaction.

Everyone tells me to take a piano, and I said to lauren llama something along the lines of: "If I had a pickup truck, I would totally have a piano in the back all the time. One of those old upright pianos. And a mattress in the bed. And I could camp out, because what more do you need in life than a piano and a bed?"

and then my boyfriend suggested taking my bed. Haha, my bed in senior pictures. They're the INTIMATE shoot.

SO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SENIOR PICTURES PLEASE. I'm not sporty or bandy so give me prop ideas.


edit
conversation between nicole and nicole.
Nicole: Addressing people as "bitch" is a lot like llamas: universally hilarious.
Nicole: So "Llamas, bitch" must be the equivalent of "Your mom".

Nicole being [livejournal.com profile] sassafras28 and Nicole being [livejournal.com profile] abigail_nicole.
abigailnicole: (devil & god)

so that's what I did on my birthday, since I've been seventeen for two months.
songs!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5



6.



and YouSendIt keeps giving me free upgrades, so you can send me things at firefly.

abigailnicole: (OMG)
saturday night:
SAY ANYTHING & SAVES THE DAY
front row!
Chris Conley played acoustic!!! and took requests and we got songs played.
say anything was say anything, which was great.
you are jealous, end of story.


in other news. I am still obsessed with amanda palmer,
ben folds,
howl's moving castle
and writing in my black-and-white journal.
however, I am making shoes.

shoes! )
abigailnicole: (Default)

so, okay, news in numbered form.

1. I have decided that EMOPOP is the new POPPUNK. Therefore, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, and Panic! at the Disco have replaced Blink-182 and Green Day. If you like these bands--which I do, I won't deny it, I like all of them--just be aware that you now like POP.

2. My mother is cutting me off!!!!!!!!! actually, she's going to stop giving me money because "You need to get a job" (-mom). Thanks. So I'm trying to go work for Cracker Barrel and get to put on my charming HIRE ME! face tomorrow.

3. Did I mention that over spring break I read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, Cell by Stephen King--and then, running out of my own books, read my brother's copy of Eldest? That's the sequel to Eragon, by Christopher Paolini. Ayn Rand was by far the best and most exciting and most important. You can't find two books more different than Cat's Cradle and Atlas Shrugged. Cell was a three-hour read with enough literary allusions to keep me entertained. Eldest was, you know, generic juvenile fantasy.

4. I have to play piano for church Sunday, and I think I will do terribly because a.) I've barely practiced (today, lesson tomorrow) and b.) I hate the song. It's boring. Actually I don't hate it, it's just boring. I wish I could play Ben Folds, he is amazing the end.

5.

abigailnicole: (Default)
so, um.
I've spent most of tonight cleaning my room, the results of which can be observed below. also, a random picture of park, from...a few weekends ago.


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Nicole

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