abigailnicole: (Default)

first off, have a song:
Battles - Atlas
it doesn't have any words.

Second off, I've been thinking of Atlas Shrugged a lot lately. Amanda texted me about being on a train, and it got me thinking about Dagny Taggart; then a conversation I was having with someone about the things we liked when we were children and how we consider them silly now reminded me of the same conversation taking place between Dagny and Francisco.

does anyone else have the problem that in iTunes 9 now the mini-player in the taskbar doesn't work? or is that just me?

I've been kind of a mopey, electronegative oxygen all week. Perhaps after all my TESTS are OVER---did I tell y'all we get a three day weekend for Yom Kippur? Jewlane for the win--I will be able to finally relax. My FAVORITE LIBRARY IN ALL THE WORLD has sent me a care package so I can sew them a Where The Wild Things Are hat and Bailey is going to get me yarn so I can make this tree sweater. I'm bribing myself with them if I can get through all these tests in hard classes this week. I've been staring at textbooks and problems so long the words don't register in my brain anymore. This is not helpful.

Also mopey oxygen, clingy fluorine, and hipster noble gases are totally real things to call people. time to study more.
abigailnicole: (death)

my dream job is floating around the world in a zeppelin, making new things and thinking about them. I also like chemistry.

I have, however, very little motivation to study for the orgo quiz tomorrow. I like ethanol, I like methyl groups and cyclohexanes and 2,4-dimethylpentane. perhaps debo estudiar espanol, for I also have a quiz in that. tomorrow will be a very quizzical day.

I think I shall go as Death for halloween. I need to acquire a top hat and an ankh between now and then.

now all around me the lights grow dim and only mac screens illuminate their owners. I alone burn a solitary lamp in a dark room and pore over foreign languages and foreign substances; we shut the windows as if it will keep out the darkness. my motivation is not here, I wish to build things from air and water vapor. it is time for sleep--goodnight, all
abigailnicole: (OMG)

some Easter bunnies my mother sent me. <3 her.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY. let's talk about electrochemistry for a bit. BATTERIES! Half-cells, galvanic cells. Tin, lead, copper, iodine, nitrate, hypochloride...let's talk about how Gibbs Free Energy relates to number of electrons, Faraday's constant, and standard electric potential of a cell? Or we couldn't. Normally I'm all up in electrochemistry's face. We go to parties and circle each other, making jabs about each other's girlfriends until we end up on the back patio and I've got it in a headlock, you know, then we reach equilibrium and call it a day. BUT TODAY NO. Today electrochemistry is wrestling me to the ground. "Your watch is dying!" it shouts. "Next time you go outside your car won't start! Take that, bitch!" It's cuttin me deep. I thought underneath it all we could get along. I WAS WRONG.

IN other news. Housing! I don't know what it's like up there--from New Orleans, everything is UP THERE--but down here they do a lottery for housing. Everyone's in random order. And everyone wants to get with who they want, whatever, and your time slot only lasts about twenty minutes until other people can register at the same time as you. And since my BFFs are two lovely ladies--have you noticed something here? two lovely ladies and then just a bunch of guys? Why am I always surrounded by two lovely ladies and a bunch of guys? Carrie/Bailey then the 6th floor, Hannah/Amanda and the party, Monica/Lindsey and the band, Mollee/me and the soccer team ETC--but I lost my point. point. HOUSING! RIGHT! Well housing three people is tricky. We have lots of doubles. doubles as in four people sharing two room and a bathroom. (We are fairly lucky, I think most sophomores get suite-style living except for the Greek Letters--have I gone on my greek letter rant? give me a paragraph--but they're mostly shared doubles.) We wanted a single and a double in Willow. So my time is 2pm, right the first day, a great time, real early and I'm gonna get to pick from a lot. except the server crashes. FRUSTRATION! so instead of carrying on with my day, I have to sit around checking the internet every fifteen minutes waiting for the servers go back online while trying to eat Taco Bell (a complete failure--they gave me sour cream? I said no sour cream, it makes me sick!) and watch Good Morning Vietnam, which took forever to buffer. (might explain my tone right now too.) Anyway. Story back on track. So at 4:15, two hours after I'm supposed to register, we get into Willow A. A triple in Willow A. Now Willow is the nice dorm. Whereas in Butler you can stand in the floor and touch both beds. Willow is three separate buildings with strange courtyards interspersed between, and Willow A is the closest to campus, so that's good. Actually it's fantastic. This is cause for celebration. We're so excited.

GREEK LETTER RANT. I don't know if Greek Life is like this everywhere--I bet it's not, and I'm probably exaggerating it here. but really, you know the sorority girl/frat boy type. I have nothing against them. I just know that large groups of guys get bad ideas and think they're good ideas--I'm friends with mostly boys. The soccer team saran wrapping my english teacher's car is a good example. Multiply this by twenty and add alcohol and you get fraternities. Whatever, boys bein' boys. Call me sexist but there it is--all my life this has been typical behavior for large groups of males, so I've come to expect it. Sororities? Large groups of females, on the other hand, I have no experience with. They give you a dress code? Are you kidding? Why is everyone on campus wearing a white dress today? And I mean, okay dressing alike, whatever. But it's a sort of exclusivist mindset. I was in line behind a Greek Letter (a Theta, I think) at the bagel place and another Theta cut in front of me so they could talk. "Oh my god, I was waiting for another Theta to come along so I'd have someone to talk to!" she exclaimed (not making this up not exaggerating this). The two had never met before. And I mean, fine, the friendship part, I get. I've talked to people who are like well I just like the social aspect, knowing you're part of an extended family who will take care of you even if you don't know them. But the concept that she only wanted to talk to other Greek Letters is what annoys me. People who aren't Greek Letters aren't people? And they have so much to do. JR's roommate is in Kappa Alpha and they have to be at the house from 9-5, have mandatory study hall every night from 7-10, mandatory parties every weekend and some weeknights, and jeez how do they have don't for this stuff. Some fraternities and sorities on campus don't let their pledges walk alone: someone in my lab was taking about how they have to take three people with them when they go to class: one to take them there and one to take them back. Really? Really? Are you serious? People have skipped class because they can't find anyone to go with them. And I've heard that if you break this rue, they drive you somewhere in New Orleans and make you walk back to campus. What the fuck. This is awful. And in related news, the only dorms for sophomores that don't have suite-style living are Phelps and Irby--which are like giant motels--and are advertised as good for groups of six, seven, or eight people: ie GREEK LETTERS LIVE HERE. Carrie heard it's full already. HAH.

Really all this is just glad I have real friends who are also nonGreek and I'm super thankful that we got a good room, and I don't wanna do chemistry. Also I have an Ebio test on Plants and Fungi friday. Did you know the largest living organism in the world is a fungus? It grows underground and sprouts mushrooms up at the edges in a circle. Apparently it encircles an entire thousand acre plus forest up in the northwest somewhere.

ps my finals are may 4th, may 6th, and may 7th (maybe, that's english). I have no idea what the english final will be. My parents are coming down the 8th and we leave for home the 9th. It's so close, it's so weird.
abigailnicole: (Default)

things get fuzzy at night. just like that.

I'm currently having fun doing all my chemistry homework without a calculator. For those of you who haven't taken chemistry, it's a computational science. This means I just write in all the dimensional analysis without filling in any of the numbers. for example, molecules of Fe in six liters of adult blood. this is a silly question because to remove six liters of adult blood the adult would probably be dead. or it would have to be collected over time, during which I bet the amount of hemoglobin and also the amount of Fe in the blood would vary and the results would not be the same. I don't think iron levels are regulated much by homeostasis because you hear about people being low on iron, too much iron, end of X-men and all that.

so this is what I do at 12am. Usually I can't do math at night. Tonight I'm proud of myself. I still like chemistry ten times better than calculus. not really sure why. the acetylsalicylic acid and all that, I think. during actual chemistry class I just got distracted thinking about candy corn and the song King's Crossing by Elliott Smith. how the lyrics would look if they were just painted in big red letters across the wall. I can't prepare for death anymore than I already have...

on TV

Apr. 28th, 2008 10:22 pm
abigailnicole: (Default)
me talking about House:

also House sucks now. lazy writers. I bet the next episode is going to be about House being a jerk, a drug addict, or an athiest. Or maybe...all three! In new ways! He might torment Wilson. Or his team. Or Cuddy. OH MAN THE SUSPENSE. I swear it used to be better, didn't it? I mean, House used to be a better character. The entire team didn't used to just sit around talking about him, did they? Because that's what they do now, in every single scene. This episode, he tricked them into thinking he had syphilis. Oooh, remember that episode where he tricked them into thinking he had a brain tumor? Way to be original, writers. Way to have ONE character on the ENTIRE show and way to make even him get boring. No man is an island; get real characters in there. And please get back to more real science. That last episode just felt weak. Lame diagnosis.

end of rant.

I fell asleep studying for AP Chem. This week is take it easy and realize AP Chem is Impossible week. Maybe I should have started studying two months ago, like I did for Calculus? That'd be awesome. But oh man, half this stuff...and the motivation is gone.

I also watched that episode of voyager where everyone has sex. B'Lanna and Tom and that Vulcan guy who liked B'Lanna and the doctor was like  HAHA HOLOGRAM SEX but you try it first. for such a normally reserved, scientific, logical show it was a nice trashy interlude. I'm going to Starfleet Academy, forget college.

I wish I could stop being bitchy and mad at EVERYTHING and EVERYONE, and stop doubting myself.
abigailnicole: (Default)


9:56 am

 I find it ironic that Amanda Palmer (on the Dresden Dolls’ second CD) has a song called Delilah, which is about a woman taking back an abusive boyfriend. I saw a Tshirt in a magazine that said: “I’m Delilah.” It was referring of course to the Hey There Delilah love-ballad Plain White T’s “hey there Delilah don’t you worry about the distance / I’m right there if you get lonely / give this song another listen” which is sappy and cute, but I couldn’t help thinking of: “he’s gonna beat you like a pillow / you schizos never learn / and if you take him home / you get what you deserve” and how appropriate and ironic it all was. I like to think the two songs are about the same Delilah. How twisted and funny is that?



 Priority things to do:

 COLLEGE APPLICATIONS. I keep putting these off for less important things. STOP IT, NICOLE, STOP IT. Three colleges? Maybe four? I have no idea, honestly, I have no idea. I keep not doing this to do things like make Christmas presents for people and I have to stop.

Christmas presents. The second most important thing on my to-do list. I’m going to bum all the money for postage from my boyfriend (I love my boyfriend) because I’m getting GSPeeps presents too, and my LJ friends, and sending everyone a CD, which is lots of postage.

Time is running out and I’m still crawling at a snail’s pace. I feel like I’m setting my standards low, but I don’t think I’m as smart as I used to be, I don’t think I deserve anything anymore.

 I worry so much about next summer.



8:04 am

 I miss the Party. A lot. A lot a lot.

 Do you ever do that thing where you go outside and your windshield’s frosted over, but if you defrost it and wait you’ll be late, and you didn’t have time to defrost it earlier because you had to get dressed, fix breakfast, eat breakfast, make tea, pack your lunch, brush your teeth, and fix you hair and makeup in thirty minutes, so you just drive with a frosted-over windshield and the defroster on high for your entire very curvy, dangerous,  pot-hole-ridden road?

 Because I do.



 Ah god at times like this I miss my iPod. I used to take fish to school all the time, listen to seventy times seven between the hallways with echoing microphones in my ears. Now I dream about my bed, and all my aspirations are shot. I dream about simple things like listening to Tear in Your Hand. About not being cold. My school hasn’t turned on the heat yet and consequently I wear three to five shirts daily. When I’m in bed, I dream about the one long thin bubble of warmth under my covers, because when I roll over the sheets are freezing.  Right now my favorite subject is calculus because I despise circular discussions about American imperialism, I don’t like tedious gas law labs (no explosions, no color change, no food=not cool), and those are my only classes. Every time I go to academic team I wish our school would fix our schedules so I could take more than four AP classes. I wish that this year, I could take more than four classes. I feel like I’m spending so much time and not getting anything done every day I come here; it’s bad preparation for college. I wish I could take AP Bio and AP Physics, but at the time I didn’t even think those were options for me. So mainly I just wish North would let me take more than four classes at a time. Or, alternately, turn on the heat.


abigailnicole: (Default)

March 2013


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