abigailnicole: (Default)
 the end of the year and I've been reading everybody else's year-end best-of lists (in order to figure out what I wanna listen to next) so here are mine:


two thousand, zero hundred, eleven


-Gravity's Rainbow. like, best book of 2011 hands down. also 1974, but it's makin a comeback for real. I heard Swamplandia and The Pale King were good too and maybe someday I'll have time to read them. Also there's a new Discworld book and it's even a Watch book, guys, read this because I can't till after finals.


-I don't remember watching any new movies in 2011 but I'm sure I did and I'm sure they were great. 


-Nine Types of Light, by TV On the Radio. No idea why this CD is getting very little love YES I DO AND IT HAS TO DO WITH MUSIC CRITICS BEING HIPSTERS and it's not ethereal enough for them or something? it's just like a rockin album that made my entire summer better. have No Future Shock and give it a listen 

-Shangri-La by Yacht, also that CD that you rode around and made you wanna bike fast all summer even in 4pm heat. LISTEN TO SOME OF IT

-Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes. I was so excited for this that when the single came out I listened to it on repeat all night 100 times in a row not joking even though I was asleep for some of those

-zach ywz (also on tumblr) made me download the tUnE-YrDzZZ cd and even though she's so super hipster ugh facepaint and feathers and of course you fucking love indian motifs but you make good music and I can appreciate that hipsters gotta emulate something even if that something is good music and cringe-worthy. I feel a little like this about YACHT too like man it's so trendy to hate on Christians and like dancing. I'm so conflicted about the music I like now, guys. anyway listen to this song but immediately switch tabs and don't watch the video because it's super stupid

-not conflicted at all about Young Blood Blues by the New-Orleans-based Hurray for the Riff Raff. 100% all around, winter depression in the best best way 


-omg I finally tried that bacon praline sunday at the Green Goddess because magicsauce and my life wasn't the same before

-we also drank tamarind juice all summer, which is pretty much like ice tea only made from a weird fruit that looks like crap. pics for truth

-braden (my boyfriend, hey he's on tumblr) just made me buckwheat meatloaf for the first time with his cranberry barbecue sauce and that was pretty excellent even though it was not a patch on his hamburgers he made this one time with crazy peanut-butter and egg and jalapeno and bacon and creole mustard and they were nuuuuuts and so delicious 


-hey everybody Plan B, that place I spent my summer, moved. go to their new location at 1024 Elysian Fields.

-I also went to Hanks on St Claude and it was pretty life-changing but it's just a convenience store with catfish that will change your life so it's not like they have a website or anything 




-I said I'd make some mittens so I'l probably knit/post about those over break

-I also said in a moment of pynchon foolishness I'd write a radio play called "Upstate-Downstate Beast" about grocery stores and monsters so let's see how that goes

-I've been wanting to do a noise-based postmodern radio show called bathtub tunes for a while now. six episodes, early morning kinda slot, for drunk/creepy times. I have plans for this and will let you know about them 

-I am still writing an honors thesis about time travel and a house in New Orleans if you are interested in any of these things

-I am also, fingers crossed, all things going well, entering medical school in August, 2012. 

abigailnicole: (Default)
 what's he building in there

a playlist I made a while ago of malicious songs, for halloween. 

1) What's He Building - Tom Waits
2) Prelude (the Family Trip) - Marilyn Manson
3) Is There Anybody Out There? - Pink Floyd
4) Lullaby - A Perfect Circle
5) Slide - The Dresden Dolls
6) Devils and Gods - Tori Amos
7) The Widow - the Mars Volta
8) Climbing Up The Walls - Radiohead
9) This Devil's Workday - Modest Mouse
10) Posed to Death - the Faint
11) The Dreaming - Kate Bush
12) Teflon - the Mars Volta
13) the Nobodies - Marilyn Manson
14) Welcome to Bangkok - Brand New
15) House of Wolves - My Chemical Romance

download the .rar


abigailnicole: (Default)

more creepy pictures Amanda took of me, with her Diana this time. I really like this duo together though.

I spent all night on the couch, reading Asimov and Cell Biology, under a blanket with the floor strewn with toast, tea, an empty Kleenex box and used Kleenex. I took a sudafed-ibproufen combo and now have added nyquil to the mix. Evian made us pesto, Phil came over to sit around on our futon, and I was congested and happy. Last night I lounged around reading Macbeth (and Cell Biology) and eating cheerios dry. I'm surprised how much I still love Macbeth this time around, it's giving me flashbacks to the last time I read Macbeth and how bad things were then. It's odd how one combination of centuries-old poetry can send you back: "I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight?" but that's why he's Shakespeare.

Michael Winn and I discussed Amanda Palmer's radiohead ukulele covers album and I was of the opinion that the electronic stuff on the ukulele was where it fell apart and got messy. Lo and behold I WAS WRONG. NPR did a bit on Idioteque and I discovered they were right, and now I keep listening to it (both versions). I also discovered Laura Marling is only a month older than me and am terribly ashamed of the lack of accomplishments in my life.
abigailnicole: (death)
once a year, every year: the songs I listened to in 2010

1. Ring Ring – Sleigh Bells
Not Christmas music, nor are there bells present.

2. ‘39 – Queen
I was at a New Year’s party where there was no TV or CD player, only a record player, so we listened to A Night At The Opera during the night and it was wonderful.

3. Alas I Cannot Swim – Laura Marling
I once made Evian listen to this song 30 times in a row and she still thinks it is pretty good.

4. Good Intentions Paving Company – Joanna Newsom
A song for bad relationships and the end of them.

5. Do You Swear To Tell The Truth... – Amanda Palmer
The song I was listening to when I got hit by a car.

6. Written in Reverse - Spoon
You don’t realize the energy in this song until you see it live and then it’s like a punch in the face.

7. Little Lion Man – Mumford & Sons
One of those songs I heard and immediately got all the rest of their music and bought concert tickets and listened to ten times in a row.

8. Brothersport – Animal Collective
Let all of that time go

9. Dog Days Are Over – Florence and the Machine
Something about the ‘happiness, it comes like a bullet in the back’

10. Be Calm – fun.
The great tragedy of my year is that they were on campus for free a week before I heard their CD and I didn’t go see them.

11. Meantime – the Givers
The great success of my year is that I went to the concert even though I hadn’t heard them yet.

12. The Chain – Ingrid Michaelson
How many songs are sung in a round? NOT ENOUGH.

13. Madder Red – Yeasayer
Once a day, every day.

14. Camera Talk – Local Natives
How many good concerts did I go to this year? So many.

15. The Sea is A Good Place To Think of the Future – Los Campesinos!
How many? So many.

16. Winter is Coming – Radical Face
I couldn’t stop listening to this song. It feels like cold weather.

17. Thistle & Weeds - Mumford & Sons
Their entire concert was a catharsis.

18. Love of an Orchestra – Noah & the Whale
I can’t think of a more hopeful song, and it starts with churchbells.

zip file of them all. If you're on my Christmas Card list you will get a physical copy! if not please enjoy them anyway.
abigailnicole: (Default)

last night I had the most awful sinus headache so I took nyquil, vitamins, acetaminophen before I went to bed. I slept like a log. I dreamt that I was trying to put together a last-minute Rocky Horror production in an old abandoned church, scrambling around in the nooks and crannies of the building to find stilettos before Sweet Transvestite. I woke up to daylight savings time and evian making coffee. I am glad I do not live alone.

Friday I went to see Mumford & Sons, trepidatious because I was alone, but my fears were unfounded. I parallel parked by myself and everything, and then it was 100% fine. It was the best show I have been to all year. The crowd was very respectful: the few people I talked to around me were all from long distances away (Tuscaloosa, DC, NYC), and it was clear that they had really wanted to come here and have a good experience. The openers were fantastic (King Charles, which was one guy with a guitar, amazing hair and an amazing voice; and Cadillac Sky, a straight-up bluegrass band who had a very skinny electric upright bass) and then Mumford & Sons played a long set that was just fantastic. All the catharsis you could ever want out of a concert enveloped in a joy and contentment of long-ago friends reuniting for a party. They began with Sigh No More (I discovered, friday morning, it is the much ado about nothing song when I was reading Much Ado About Nothing and was joyous all day) and ended with Dust Bowl Dance (the grapes of wrath song) and Awake My Soul (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh). I left in a state of ecstasy and was only sad that none of my friends were there so I could tell how much I loved them, with all of my heart and soul.

this morning my friend stumbled me this, a cry to adopt words and save them from disuse. The first I clicked was 'desarcinate', meaning 'to unload, to unburden'.
abigailnicole: (dreams)

I put on all the songs in my iTunes that have the word 'whale' somewhere in their tag. I wasn't expecting this haunting, great&terrible claustrophobic modest mouse song to come up-- the whale song. I was expecting cute stuff like Noah & the Whales and Freelance Whales and Rosie & Me, not a dark and malicious three-days-in-exile.

this element of surprise. I did not expect to be happy this month but I have been, and very much so. I did not expect that amanda would make it, or that I would find us necklaces. I am living in the cautious state of being afraid to expect joy out of life.

we went to snake & jake's and wrote poetry. I went to a party with bailey and ate a muffaletta. I saw yeasayer, the local natives, going to the thermals and los campesinos this weekend. I went to a bonfire where someone offered me a scientific internship. I took pictures of night. I saw the room at prytania at midnight and it was wonderful. I listened to songs about whales. I watched Phil reorganize magic cards on the couch, I watched movies with Evian asleep on the couch. I spilled coffee on my cowboy boots on tuesday, and my lecture on social cognition today was particularly good. I realized I have only written one story in the past two years and that it is closer to me now than my dreams at night are. I have had the most vivid dreams.

I hope you are doing well.
abigailnicole: (dreams)

Basia Bulat - The Shore
you can take away the divine, my dear, and comb your hair, and I won't mind at all

it's starting again

the hair-pulling, the pacing, the one-song-repeat, the 'ladies' playlist pulled out, Joanna and Florence added to it. the restlessness, the resentment, the cabin fever, the short showers and forgetting chapstick. they are like tiny signs of something larger, small leaves turning their bottom sides to the sky before it rains, to wash off the parts that aren't often seen. I'm not sure. I miss my mother.

Tonight I walked around pacing and eating everything, my stomach ever-expanding and never full. I HAVE THIS HUNGER. cold canned green beans, a sandwich, half a pint of blueberries, yogurt, pudding, cookies, bread, books, GAGA sequences, hangnails, all-consuming hunger, coffee that gets too bitter. LISTS OF OBJECTS. have you been where I am now?
abigailnicole: (Default)

My creative writing teacher asked me "if you made a playlist right now what would be the third song on it?"

without hesitation: "Snow Cherries From France." I still know what songs one through five are, too.

I miss my wife. I miss her dearly. I want to give her hugs and play her CDs, the kind of CDs you give someone in movies where you drive through colored leaves with the dappled sunlight falling through the car windows, when you're wearing that crummy old perfect sweater and the best sunglasses. Maybe you're driving to the coast where there are ocean-noises and the smell of salt water to make you forget, maybe you're not, maybe it's just somewhere where tree'd mountains give way to those scratchy tall grasses. Maybe you're in shorts and ratty old canvas tennis shoes, maybe not. Maybe we are listening to the milk-eyed mender or maybe it is little earthquakes. I think of you when I wake, amanda, every luminious two-in-the-morning with bon iver and no one call. I miss you dearly.

I read A Midsummer Night's Dream today at work. It is still my least favorite Shakespeare play; I like his comedies but this one is too caricatured for my taste, I am not fond of slapstick humour and magic love potions are full of it. I am not overfond of Romeo & Juliet either and this parody-version of it is still not my cup o tea.

somewhere there would be Here. In My Head. just for the
show you the roses, that brush off the snow, and open their petals again and again

I would.

I have a job now. I am manning a desk in the English office. right now I am quite hungry and too discouraged to say more. I will make some bread dough and try again.
abigailnicole: (books)
my computer's been broken, so I've been gone for a while...in that time, I knit a sweater, dad got a new car, and I got accepted to medical school. Hurray!!! and June is halfway over oh no.

it's amazing what regular meals and daily exercise will do for a person. I don't feel like a half-dead, half-blind hungry old crank anymore. My family is really fantastic. I think they more than make up for my somewhat subpar ability to make and maintain friendships.

music. I was listening to the Format CD I got (I got the fun CD first, actually) and Dog Problems' (click that link, their website is super fun) titular track came on. When it was over, I said "again" and punched the back button on the CD player. And this got repeated about seven times. If you like fast/slow dynamics, tongue-in-cheek lyrics superimposed onto serious, heartfelt ones, horns, piano, a little bit of vaudeville, and Hush-Sound-esque lyrics and peppiness, then you should download Dog Problems. From the "you should see me, I smoke myself to sleep" to the cheeky "boys in swooping haircuts are bringing me down" and the heartfelt: "Was it worth it? when you slept with him? did you get it all out of your system?"

If you can figure out what he's trying to spell at the end of the song, please tell me. Her name...? BECA. it's really not a word. Someone speculated he started to spell out 'BECAUSE' but then says "I never finish phrases" and leaves it at that.

Also when I imported all my music in iTunes it kept all my old playlists and playcounts so thanks? but all the links are broken and so I have to manually go in and re-find my files for every song. (well, if I wanna keep my playcounts, I do. so for everything with >10 plays, yes.) So yesterday I was doing it for Regina, because she's my favorite, and I missed her at Bonnaroo's webcast, and stumbled upon A Canon and forgot how much I loved her unsold demos. Really, the only song I don't like by her is Aching to Pupate, and some of 11:11 is more forgettable than I would like. But this song is fantastic for its "I have given you love and I have given you anger and I meant them both" and the "I always knew a big boat would come and take me away, take me away," and the "they think I'm saying hello and goodbye, when what I'm really saying is---" so give it a listen.

also all the bonnaroo concerts I wanted to see webcast I've missed. Tori, Regina, Mumford & Sons. :(

book reviews. I've been reading the next Mitford book, by Jon Karon, A Light In The Window, and will read the next one after that. I think I'm attracted to these books because of rocks in my personal life; they make it easier to deal with certain situations and seem to ease a lot of resentment I'm holding. It's the way everything works out so perfectly in these books, I think; it's nice reading about a perfect life, where there are only minor problems that can be surmounted and nothing seems hopeless. Which is why I think I like it, because when you feel like you're powerless about a lot of situations in your own life and have given up on them it's nice to go to a place where nothing is hopeless. I think in the first book the perfection irked me, where now I've eased back into it. Due to my personal life, no doubt.

Which is why I don't know if I can review this book! All reviews are influenced by personal lives, which is why this objective, third-party kind of approach to reviewing that is so popular doesn't work. People are different and like different things. You have to appreciate that...even a reviewer who tries to get their target audience can still way miss the mark. So I prefer to tell you about my experience with books or music so you know where I'm coming from and why I say the things that I say about it.

So about this book I have to say: it's homely, it's cute, it's perfection. It helped me deal with angry 3am phone calls, and calmed me down afterward. It's not a great work of art with a tragic hero and an overarching plot structure. It's like the Andy Griffith show, like I said before...but sometimes you need that, you need books that will comfort you instead of challenge you when real life is challenging.

I'm still not the intended audience for this book. The book begins with Father Tim's staunch resistance to getting a microwave, which is enough of a generation gap for a college student who only has a microwave. I still don't think people really work like this. I like the characters: memorable, small-town personalities who are well-characterized and have dialogue that is a little too accurate at times.

I also read The Invention of Hugo Cabret which took all of an hour and was cute and charming. The origins of French cinema, and things I didn't know about it.

Next I'm reading assorted adventures of Sherlock Holmes, while I try to figure out what novel I should read next that we have at the library. Maybe something to make up for my worsening personal life.
abigailnicole: (epiphany)

I drive about 45 minutes to work each morning, so I have a lot of time to listen to music. And I drive the Hal Rogers Parkway, which is a sort of straight no-turnoffs interstate kind of road that you can safely drive at about 70 or 75 mph. And all the cars that pass me (which is most of them) usually drive at about 70 or 75mph. They don't seem to appreciate my efforts to drive my car in neutral for as much of the parkway as I possibly can, probably because this leads me to not care if I go the posted speed limit of 55mph. But I digress.

The point was that I get a lot of time to listen to music. I do this drive 6-10 times per week, which is about 5-7 plays of any CD and since so far I'm going at about a CD a week I thought I should say something about them or give you a song or something. So far it's been all ladies--

Kate Nash was the first week, and luckily I could fit both her CDs on one blank CD if I took the songs I didn't like from her first CD off. I loved Made of Bricks the first time I heard it, it's poppy fun and all that. But My Best Friend is You sort of went the other way? She could have gone two ways--the pop-star punk-rocker way or the Regina way, because her first CD was split about half and half between them, and she definitely went more pop-star punk-rocker. I really like Paris, which is the pop-star fun part with horns that sound like the audio equivalent of little starbursts on your powerpoint presentation. But I think my favorite is the regina-esque Pickpocket (have a download) because I had to stop and listen to it about a million times. Another one of those uncomfortably close lines--"get out, get out of town, before it catches up to you and you cannot withstand..." Mansion Song's spoken-word intro makes me really uncomfortable, but I never turn it off, so does that qualify it as art? I just have to keep listening for that Marla-Singer line:
"just another undignified product of society--
and I don't regret it after that point.

Sleigh Bell's Treats was last week and for all that I've been soooo excited and checking pretty much every day in may to see if this was leaked/out yet I'm not sure about it? The stuff that we've heard before is all fantastic--Infinity Guitars, Crown on the Ground, Ring Ring/Rill Rill (I'm really upset that they switched the pronouns on the "you're/we're just the weatherman, we/you make the wind blow" line, that was my FAVORITE and now it's backwards and I WANNA MAKE THE WIND BLOW) etc. But a lot of the other ones are just ehhhhh. And ever since that awful overplayed ahhhhh Boulevard of Broken Dreams I can't take that guitar effect seriously, the one at the beginning of Straight A's, I think it is. It's a bit like Japanese punk to me, too, am I the only on getting this vibe? Maybe the guitars + cute high girl singing just makes me think Japanese punk. It would be better in a movie, I think, with some badass action scene and a blonde chick wearing all black. You know, someone who goes from timid to badass in the course of the movie, and at the end there's a kind of Boondock Saints action/assassination/robbery/criminal/badass montage with Sleigh Bells playing. also loland ditto on 10 Listen's "I want to rent out musical halls and destroy their PAs with this album. I want to see if this album can literally raise the dead. I think it can. I want this album to take my hearing because it’s the last thing I want to hear before I die and I don’t want to die yet." Preferably Riot Rhythm, kthxbai.

This week I'm listening to Basia Bulat's Heart of My Own. Do you know those bands that have no context? Some bands you hear about in blogs, or on the radio, or in magazines, or from friends, and you know what kind of music they're classified as, their label, the genre, where they fit: they have context. Basia Bulat has no context for me--I heard Go On on stereomood and immediately downloaded it, then heard Gold Rush somewhere and decided that getting the whole CD would be a good idea. So I did. And it still doesn't have much context. I like it, quite a lot--have this rollicking ditty (how often do I use the phrase rollicking ditty? I think this makes the first time, or the second if you count the use in this parenthetical phrase) called If Only You which starts out "I'm giving up, I'm going home" which is so much how I feel right now. Look out for fantastic lines like: "I've said hello to Jekyll and to Hyde / I still can't say who I want by my side / And truth be told / I love them both / and I'm no better half" ahhhhh look at that. Just look at that. And it's all good! you know, the sunny tree-covered parkway with sunglasses and windows down and all that and it's good for that. For real? All I know about her is that she's Canadian. And I'm okay with that. Music in a vacuum is easier to appreciate, sometimes.

in other late-breaking music news, I'm going to see Andrew Jackson Jihad (just a Sean solo show actually) with my wives on Saturday. whooooo! I'll probably post about that when the time comes. I'm excited to wear my Andrew Jackson Jihad outfit though. I've thought of this outfit (rainbow dress + cowboy boots Evian gave me with the rainbow stitching) as this ever since I walked down McAlister avenue singing Brave Is A Noun "I could go off the deep end, I could kill all my best friends" and it felt like the appropriate outfit. So that's to come.

I forgot how much I like having long hair. I do! You can do so much with it! I can do braided pigtails if I want (which is mostly the only fun thing I can do with long hair that I can't do with short hair, but that's a really fun thing, in my defense). Now my hairdresser says the last four inches are split ends. Having hair that is fourteen inches long is a great length, I can wash it every two days and be fine.

Food here is really cheap. Someone brought in a dozen doughnuts today--the Mininites make them daily, those glazed doughnuts with the chocolate frosting? you know, the really delicious ones that are just fantastic. And it was $3 for a dozen of them. Food is so cheap here!!! Also the Mininites have a produce stand on the side of the road--at night, they just put a little rope across the entrance to their stand and leave all the produce there, overnight and no one ever takes it. At least, not enough to make them stop doing it. Food is so cheap, and there's so much of it, and it's nothing like college where I am always hungry.

Also I kind of stopped reading a book a day except yesterday, the 25th of May, I read Night Watch and wore the lilac like I do every year. I've decided to start knitting a sweater instead. I've got another 2 inches of stockinette bottom trim to go before I start the cable pattern. It's for mom so I might go up a needle size, she likes her sweaters not-form-fitting, unlike me. Also I realized I'm (stereo)typically attractive. Huh, when did that happen? This is not something I have much experience with.

Did I tell you about my intentions to make the Jaws Show Me The Way To Go Home my ringtone? now you know.

Except Marco is getting so sad. After a week of me installing drivers and running scans and downloading patches and reinstall disks and doing tests I've finally gotten Error 0146 HARD DRIVE FAILED. :( So Marco's not doing well, poor dear. I'm gonna try a hard drive complete wipe tonight and THEN! I told mom if I couldn't fix it by the end of the week I'd take it to a real computer place. They'll probably tell me my hard drive is broken, charge me $60 and say it'll be $XXX to put in a new hard drive. I'm contemplating getting a netbook + external monitor, and then just using my external hard drive as my main thing if Marco dies. Maybe I can get external speakers, too, and move away from so much one-computer reliance, cause it's not working well for me.... maybe I'll just get a new hard drive. it's a sad situation.
abigailnicole: (Default)

my thoughts are all focused on summer. It's hard to study for Genetics when I'm debating what CDs I'm going to put in my car for the drive to work, quilts I want to make (I have this planned out), all the things I'm going to get for my room next year, places I want to go with my mother. Mumford & Sons! The new New Pornographer's CD! Laura Marling's latest and older one, the new Kate Nash, some mix CD with bits of Joanna Newsom and Bob Dylan.

It got to the point where I was updating my twitter every thirty seconds with some new thought and decided to just go ahed and blog it. I've been listening to Little Lion Man since someone at [livejournal.com profile] audiography was kind enough to upload it for me after I posted Laura Marling. I know, this is turning into a little music blog. whatever. he's her ex- or regular-boyfriend or something and it's fantastic, he's like a version of her with a little more bluegrass, except he sings well and not like bluegrass. I mean, I like bluegrass. But not when they sing. He sings like someone I would lie but uses all fun bluegrass instruments, banjo and guitar and upright bass and etc. So do that, if you want.

we finally signed a lease. we have a house! faine offered to sell me all her furniture for one lump sum, I have accepted. Right now Sam and Bailey are in the other room watching Deadwood and Chris and Carrie are on the other bed watching The Pacific. I'm here by me onesie writing a paper. If we had a house tonight's the kind of night when I'd be in the kitchen table by myself, playing this lovely lovely new Mumford & Sons CD with a solitary light, watching light reflect off the water and hunching over too much, straightening up and cracking out my hips. I hope for that, someday, to write until 2 in the morning, not realizing what happens until Bailey comes out for a glass of water and reminds me I'm being silly.

I can't wait for summer. all these silly fantasies. boxer-shorts and tank-top pyjama short stories at 2am. fridge raids an dipping your feet in the lake in the moonlight because it's too hot to sleep. that silent darkness at my grandparent's house, where my room is scary because of the full-length mirror I can see from my bed, the stifling fuzzy darkness at my house in my room, fluffy and humid always. watching Torchwood at all hours of the morning, knitting unseasonable sweaters because that's when I can...I'm going to read books, so many books. Knitting and sewing, staying up late to keep yourself entertained, sleeping a little, waking up to drive across town. Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.

it's almost summer! summer! my head is filled with visions. tell me how you are, loves.
abigailnicole: (happy)

last night I had a very vivid dream about a post-apocalyptic world where humans are all living in a submarine, salvaging earth's now-underwater cities. All human memory and brain functions are kept in a computer, and humans are kept in statis and activated as needed to run the ship. I had just been activated and was working with five other people to run this huge submarine by ourselves, going in and out of underwater-diving suits and trying to remember how to do things. The problem was that the ship's computer kept taking damage, and thus it became harder and harder to remember the things you needed to do. I only recognized the feeling of jealousy I had when I saw the biochemical pathways stored in the computer, and when I was playing the piano I realized all the chords were codons that coded for different amino acids.

In my next dream I was a Doctor's companion. My phone rang, and it said the Arrow Sisters were calling--trying to get to the Doctor through my phone. They told him that the police had finally caught up with him and they were sending the Bees and the Terrible Jack. The Bees were flying robotic parasites, and the Terrible Jack (not harkness) was some sort of skeleton jack monster--the Doctor made some joke about "The bees will be gone by the time Jack arrives" which didn't make me feel better. I, like any companion, was determined to go with him and arguing vehemently about him running off by himself--but I think he knocked me out, because when I woke up (in the dream) he was gone and Evian told me I had been asleep for days.

I take it as a sign all the tall, dark, skinny, clever males in my life are disappearing.

I woke up to listen to Kate Nash. She's got a new CD out, and at first I was hesitant but it's growing on me. A bit more punk than I'm used to and prefer from her--Doo-Wah was so much That Time crossed with the 50s, but it's starting to grow on me. Ditto with the pseudo-spoken word Don't You Want To Share The Guilt? but the opening track Paris remains my favorite, so have it. It's all summer, sunshine and things going fast and a little bit of early 50s rock-n-roll vibe? That's the CD as a whole, though, not Paris necessarily, so take it and have a listen.

I've begun eating my roommate's Luna bars, too. Only the Blueberry Bliss ones, though; the ones with chocolate in them make my teeth hurt. Sorry, Starfish. But they're delicious. I have an orgo test tonight, lots of carbonyl condensation and alpha substitution and the Hell-Volhard-Zelinskii reaction, carboxylic acids, amides, acid chlorides, acid anhydrides.....

but how long until all the people in my life start disappearing? I'll wake up and they'll be gone, Arrow Sisters and Bees not withstanding. My time is limited anyway; two more years at max and then we'll all go our separate ways. I'm ready to have my own room and decorate the walls but I'm not ready to give up my soon-to-be housemates.
abigailnicole: (Default)

moody writing, I would like to take a good notebook and start writing again. I journalled prolifically in 2008 but not at all in 09. I want to start the decade out right, writing again, but at the same time I feel very quiet these days. I don't know where to start.

maybe with fairytales.

My english class is intense. my teacher is a man who is just very intense. He is very focused, very deep, has thought processes that are...wow. Most people are not like this, they are not this focused on consciousness. Today we talked about fairytales and how suspension of disbelief is essential to the human mind and inbred at a young age--how much of our analytical process is based on suspension of disbelief, what logical fallacies are inherent in our everyday thinking?

It's interesting because I too think about these things, how did we get from single-cell amoebas to creatures that store a form of collective consciousness on machines? how does evolution work that way? I didn't think other people thought about these things and this class is proving me wrong. I am the kind of person who pays attention to details, and I am very much interested in how stories are crafted and appreciate that above all else--the attention to small details, well-placed; sketches of characters in a few deft sentences; plot twists that are entirely logical, unexpected, and delightful (the tree-of-life sap at the end of the Fountain). A good sense of timing.

"pattern recognition" he wrote on the board. how we take all these details in our lives and make them make sense. propter hoc--the notion that events that come in sequence are casually linked, how the human brain tries to make unrelated facts become patterns and place ourselves into those patterns. hocus pocus.

I found my song for January, 2010.
abigailnicole: (Default)

I have eleven stumbles, eleven new emails, a coke, class in an hour. I've been gathering time and strength to reply to these things. it's been kind of busy since I came back, but it's good to be back, to see everyone again and be back with all my clothes and friends and snoopy! I do, however, miss my parents, my bed, and my ukulele.

all the songs I've downloaded recently have been guitar-ballads, almost bluegrass-like in their picking precision. The Gambler. Food In The Belly. Oldertoo. even Hey Rabbit....sometimes good things fall through the cracks.

my ability to read things right now is not well, my contacts have been acting funny lately. Like my mother's! Reading close-up things with my contacts in has been silly, I have to Ctrl+ webpages and sit closer to the computer screen/textbook. My eyes are really bad--I went from -5.75 to -6 in my left eye this time, and I didn't think it made much of a difference? but I'll switch back to the old ones next time and see. I still have a box anyway.

It's really strange to think about waking up every morning and putting corrective pieces of plastic-membrane in your eyes so you can see. it's like we live in the future!

they're renovating campus. They took out the asphalt road to put in new asphalt, and a box of raised grass, and put new lamps next to the old lamps. it's like 'changed from glory into glory'....really, I don't understand the change.
abigailnicole: (Default)

so at Dustin's house, the Party party, Dustin has a record player, and his mom's old records, and it's amazing. Someday, when I live in a house and have nice things, I want a real sound system. Perhaps even a USB turntable and maybe I will buy that In The Aeroplane Over The Sea record I hold longingly every time I go to the Mushroom, and take all of mum's old unused records. She still has her turntable and records: however, it is still on European voltage.

I am ready to go back to school....

I think if I had to give advice to anyone it would be BE CLEVER, BE BRAVE because I think with those two cardinal virtues can get you through many things. Being clever means knowing when to be good and when to be bad, it includes a good sense of timing and knowledge of human nature and knowing when to stop and when to go: you can do all of these things if you are clever. I am trying to be brave but not doing very well, so this decade I will do better at that.

Decade, eh? this year I turn 20. So from 20 to 30 I will try to be clever and brave.
abigailnicole: (mad)

right now I am so cozy. It's freezing outside (okay, 53) and windy! but right now I am inside with a blanket, a sweater and hot tea and it's fabulous.

After the orgo test my week is just beginning. Spanish paper, Spanish presentation, orgo lab final, physics homework! and I do not want to do any of it, I feel like watching some great sea monster movie, something sinister and mysterious and terrible with all tentacles and claws and giant luminous eyes in the dark waters.

I'll settle for bath house monsters.. really I just spend a good thirty minutes screencapping this instead of writing my essay, because there is an intrinsic relation between


and the monster in all of us. like tori-level symbolism in video form? but the music not so much. also I like saying RAR RAR AH AH AH ROMAR, ROMAMA, GA GA OH LA LA (and by that I mean 'romar').

I'm done.
abigailnicole: (Default)

I just had a heart attack because I thought my physics homework and my orgo test were the same day. Thankfully, they're not. JOYFUL DAY. SHARE MY JOY WITH A SONG

The Temptation of Adam, by Josh Ritter

which is about love in a nuclear bunker. "If this was a Cold War we could keep each other warm," being the first line. Catherine made me listen to it in Orgo one day, and when I went to download it, it was already in my iTunes! fantastic! "I never had to learn to love her, like I learned the love the bomb"? You'd think with lyrics like that ("that our love would live a half-life on the surface") it'd be facetious, but it's all sweet, cute, writin'-your-girlfriend-an-acoustic-guitar song ("in a top secret location three hundred feet underground" way).

oh I've gotten awful homesick. I wrote my mother an email, because I haven't contacted her in weeks, and just trying to write it was painful. I don't have much good news to share. I just have a lot to do, all the time, and I am tired.

that's not true, I do have good news to share. tonight I had chicken soup, and italian bread. I have good people to support me. I must become thankful as it is almost thanksgiving, and no one should be a mopey oxygen for thanksgiving.
abigailnicole: (Default)
it's raining again, something awful, huge thunder/wind/lightning storms. good thing I have a playlist for you, entitled

or, hurricane season in the fall

  1. Atlas - Battles from the CD Mirrored. There are words in this song, and they haunt me with their almost-comprehensibility. If you like Animal Collective, Sunset Rubdown, Wolf Parade
  2. Lisztomania - Phoenix from Woldfang Amadeus Phoenix. Some good advice: think less but see it grow. Kind of happy like the Thermals. If you haven't heard Wolfang Amadeus Phoenix already....you should.
  3. I Say Fever - Ramona Falls from a Stereogum remix, actually. Who wants to wait five years? This remix is good, catchy and dissonant every time he says "fever", like a body shaking.
  4. A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left - Andrew Bird from Andrew Bird and the Noble Production of Eggs. Everytime he says: "you're what happens when two substances collide / and by all accounts, you really should have died" I think he's talking to me. He whistles as an instrumental.
  5. Cotton Crush - Kevin Devine from Split the Country, Split the Street. Entropy : the bricks always get torn up again. Jesse Lacey, of Brand New, also does guest vocals on this song and you can really tell.
  6. The Con - Tegan and Sara from The Con. It's raining, I'm falling back asleep. Reminds me of driving over Lake Ponchartrain.
  7. The Perpetual Self, or, "What Would Saul Alinsky Do?" - Sufjan Stevens from The Avalanche. with all that he has given to the world.....a qauestino, a song...Sufjan Stevens working his usual magic.
  8. Cold Fusion (Snakes) - Chris Bathgate from A Cork Tale Whale. you know that I never sleep. Sad insomnia music.
  9. Snowy Atlas Mountains - Fionn Regan from The End of History. this song sounds like snowy atlas mountains. Fionn Regan is adorable and talented an he makes one guitar do the work of a full band, his voice is just so cute and he writes very thoughtful songs.
  10. Upward over the Mountain - Brand New from a live performance, but their new CD just came out and it's excellent. This song rips me up. It's a cover of an Iron and Wine song that sounds like the sun rising on a night that won't ever end.
  11. My Backwards Walk - Frightened Rabbit from The Midnight Organ Fight. You're the shit, and I'm knee deep in it, you're-- this song stuck with me the first time I heard it and now there's the repeated theme of failure and repeat performances when I hear it: I'm working on drawing a straight line, and I'll draw until I get one right
  12. International Small Arms Traffic Blues - the Mountain Goats from Tallahassee. Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania. Trucks loaded down with weapons, crossing over every night--love and war, silmultaneously
  13. Jesus Saves - Andrew Jackson Jihad from Only God Can Judge Me. O man, I love playing this song on ukulele. "There will come a day when our cells won't regenerate, and everyone you know will rot away, rot away" possibly the only existential tune that always cheers me up.
  14. Free Until They Cut Me Down - Iron and Wine from Our Endless Numbered Days. Everyone needs a love-and-gallows song.
  15. Antichrist Televison Blues - the Arcade Fire from Neon Bible. The last line, that chilling: "so tell me, Lord, am I the Antichrist--" and the abrupt cut-off of the song is just a cry for help that won't go away.
  16. The Market - The Hush Sound from So Sudden. "It's worth more to them than it is to you"--not a good feeling in a relationship.
  17. I've Seen That Face - the Beatles from the Help! remaster. The song of all songs! I have never seen the like in this I've been alone, and I have missed things and kept out of sight, but other girls were never quite like this.
  18. Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra from Radio City. Just in case the sun ever comes out...
  19. Sailing Home - Karen O and the Kids from the The Where The Wild Things Are Soundtrack. I think 'Sailing Home' is a good description.
abigailnicole: (death)

Songs I Would Write on the Ukluele, if I Only Had It With Me: this lists includes things which I have felt moved to write songs about and thus far sung without accompaniment, such as "Why Am I Doing Homework In The Dark" with a chorus about "I'm not anymore! I stopped to write this song!!" and love ballads for my roommates which include specific lyrics about big spoon vs little spoon. Also I feel an "Ode to The Window In The Shower (The One With The Frosted Glass)" is in order.

Bailey was watching Veronica Mars and I thought it was Dead Like Me. Sound-alike narrators when being heard through two bathroom doors.

man, physics is killing me. something awful. help? why won't the law of cosines/law of sines work for me.
abigailnicole: (bad day)

I had a whole post and I lost it, including songs. shit. I don't actually remember these songs. I have fifty emails and twelve--fourteen--new stumbles and I don't feel like redoing it. I'm so tired of the internet, it ceases to entertain me. this is a lesson in letting things go and learning not to record every second of my life.

I enjoyed my vacation. I watched Somewhere in Time and walked a lot. I want to stay at the Grand hotel, write a book, and learn to trust myself again. I'm more tired now than I was before, not being so busy with work frees up my mind to worry about all the things I've been avoiding worrying about so far.

  1. Wake Up - The Arcade Fire from the Where The Wild Things Are Trailer. it made me want to make Max's wolf pyjamas.
  2. Now We Can See - The Thermals. now we do away with the disease. a good sing-along song.
  3. Sunlight - Tune-Yards. a song where you can sing any line at any time on pitch and it's great!
  4. Celebrate the Body Electric - Ponytail. a unique approach to joyful noise. And a Walt Whitman reference! win all around.
  5. It Gets Your Body Movin' - Suckers. this song is one big climax. it fills up the inside of my head.
  6. Seven Mile Island - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit. the first time I heard this song, in Big Lots, I tweeted the lyrics so I could look them up later, and I've been listening ever since. It's a single off his album that's about to come out, and also he's coming to a show near me but it's 21+ only, which is awful. also this is the song which helped me discover Sterogum, where I downloaded it, so all around a good thing.
  7. Beautiful Things Can Come From The Dark - Azure Ray. this song is very fitting: like a night light, sad and fighting the dark and small and hopeful. I want to be hopeful again.

my attention span and energy has run out. what am I doing with myself?

I read Nameless and enjoyed it very much. Even if it was sad at the end. It was worth waiting.


abigailnicole: (Default)

March 2013


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