1. on the search for internet.
dear blog, this search for internet is turning into a venture worthy of Odysseus. We drive around, navigate between the laptop and the steering wheel between the bike park and McDonald's, trying to find a connection which will work. McDonald's wifi. Did you ever hear of such a thing. and you have to pay for it. That is an outrage. Some hacker needs to bring McD's down. I don't care about their fruit n yougurt parfaits. This is my blog we're talking about. somebody needs to take their stupid wifi security down. wait till I train under xkcd's 1337 girl and it will be me.
2. the things I have done on this stay with my grandparents: bike, swim, read. More on the reading:
3. okay so I read twilight. from 11pm last night to 2 am.
First of all. Whenever this book said things like: "the unbearable beauty of his eyes" or "If I could dream at all, it would be about you" and "I tried to keep my eyes away from his perfection as much as possible, but I slipped often. Each time, his beauty pierced me through with sadness" I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. Are you joking with me. Is this book supposed to be funny? I think I like this book the same way I liked Spider-Man 3--because it was terrible and it made me laugh. It's actually a good analogy, because both Spider-Man 3 and Twilight have heart, which I also liked about them.
Also, this series is about equal to Eragon when it comes to writing. Stephanie Meyer is the pen name of a fifteen year old girl. No joke. Stephanie Meyer the professor is just a front for her daughter, who really writes these books. This is glorified fanfiction. It's why people love it. I think buttfacemakani
said it best in her blog post.
If somebody sent me a text copy, I would Mystery Science Theatre-up the whole thing. It'd be AWESOME.
I got New Moon and Eclipse in the following four hours.
I read New Moon from 3 to 6pm of the following day. It was much better than Twilight, because there were less descriptions of how beautiful Edward was and actual plot. The mirroring of Romeo and Juliet was obvious but also gave it at least a little bit of actual "I put real work into this writing and thought about plot and allusion and everything" into it. Unlike Twilight.
And I mean, I know that everyone else in this book is madly in love with Bella, but I wish she'd do something that would make the reader madly in love with her too. As it is, she's just kind of pathetic. I don't see why everyone likes her so much, because personally, I don't think she's that exciting or deserves that much attention.
now, for eclipse....which I read during the unholy hours of 10pm and 1:30am. did I mention I got five hours of sleep the night before? This book is just a continuation of the book before it, which kind of irks me about series. I mean, Robert Jordan did it, and look at how well it turned out for HIM. NOT. I'd rather each book have a cohesive theme, kthxbai. and I hate Wuthering Heights. and the whole team edward team jacob thing is retarded. team edward all the way. as far as I'm concerned, Edward had no choice to run off for a whole book. That was totally the author's fault. He wouldn't actually do that, except this was going to be ONE NOVEL not a SERIES and she had to do something to get it going again.
once again, I wish that Bella was a better main character. There was a reason I hated Wuthering Heights--because people preferred to wallow in their lovesick misery than just do something to make themselves happy. There's a reason I hate Bella--because she prefers to wallow in her lovesick misery between two men rather than just get up and do something about it. She's passive and standard manipuilating damsel in distress and I hate it. plz, do something that makes me like you. that's directed at you, stephanie meyer. and also, wtf. the plot sucks. I'm sorry, but that was a four hundred page book with one fight scene in it. a good 50% was nothing more than edward vs jacob, and only like 2% of that was cool edward/jacob, and that 2% was when Bella thought she was asleep. case in point: idiot....
so my thoughts about this series: creating a few characters that people like apparently sells you millions of books. because the plots aren't great, the first one was written by her when she was probably fifteen, the sequels feel (like sequels to one-shot usually do) contrived, the main character's a bore who no one likes, and the descriptions in the first book are HILARIOUS, but the hilarity goes downhill as the writing skill goes up (not enough to satisfy me, just enough to be not funny anymore). the end.
I also think this series has the potential to turn into a Nancy Drew-like thing, with constantly random Bella and Edward fight the _____, unless she ends it when they finally get hitched and vampir'd up. so hope she does, for our sake. we don't want another Robert Jordan episode. not that I care at this point if she (main character) even lives. god. please write something for her to do to make me like her in the next book or I will write you a very threatening email. the reason it will be so threatening is that I will quote every corny bad line of dialogue RIGHT BACK AT YOU and you will explode. I'M ONTO YOU, STEPHANIE MEYER. I KNOW YOU WROTE TWILIGHT AT AGE FIFTEEN. so you better watch out. that's underage, and they don't let you write porn underage.
4. other than reading, biking, and swimming, my summer has been boring. moving on. time to finish Walden. maybe I will read Dubliners after all, just to escape henry david thoreau. ugh.